Part Two — Are we destined to fail?

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BRIANNA RIEUX, HOST:

Hi, I’m Brianna Rieux and welcome back to Time Served: The Children of Parents Behind Bars. Growing up with a parent in and out of jail or prison brings a life of uncertainty. And for many of us the question is: Are we destined to fail? In this episode, we dive into the struggles faced by the children of incarcerated parents and explore how being able to overcome these challenges can help us break free from the cycle and fight for something better.

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BRIANNA RIEUX:While my dad was in and out of custody, my siblings and I were raised mostly by our mom. Sometimes it was just us. Other times, my grandparents stepped in. But my mom was always there.

Having just one parent was hard. We didn’t have the same stability or resources as other families. My grandparents helped where they could - like driving us to school while my mom worked two jobs. And at just 16 I picked up a job at McDonald’s to help with the bills. It’s just what we had to do.

But when a parent is taken away by the prison system, it’s more than just their absence—it’s the loss of a parental figure, a support system. Suddenly, you’re living with one parent, relatives, or even in foster care. From there, instability becomes normal.

According to The Sentencing Project, more than 5 million children in the U.S. have had at least one parent in prison at some point in their life. The impact is often deeper than people realize.

Parental incarceration can take an emotional toll on the child. It can cause anxiety, not knowing when or if the parent will come back. For many, it even turns into guilt. The child may wonder if somehow, they are to blame for their parents absence.

That kind of emotional burden doesn’t disappear. It lingers. And it shapes who you are.

These emotions don’t stay buried. According to the National Library of Medicine, the emotional toll of having an incarcerated parent often turns into behavioral issues that don’t just affect how kids behave at home. They spill over into every part of their lives. School becomes harder, relationships become more complicated, and the feeling of being different from the other kids can lead to isolation.

According to Parents Behind Bars by Child Trends, children in these situations are more likely to witness domestic violence or live in homes where substance abuse and mental health issues are present. The trauma stacks up.

So, are we really bound to repeat the mistakes of the generations before us? Is there no way out of this cycle?

But the truth is, no matter how tough things get or how hard the road looks, these kids can have something incredibly powerful. The motivation and self discipline to break through. Youth Justice Coalition’s organizing director, Tauheedah Shakur, sees this resilience firsthand as she works closely with kids facing these challenges.

TAUHEEDAH SHAKUR: It's hard for them to trust that people love and care about them because of some of the things they’ve seen and experienced, which I understand. I've also seen the fact that they love really hard. When they find community, they latch onto community because they know what it looks like not to be loved or cared for. So they go out of their way to give someone else that love that they maybe didn’t get to have or they give people second chances that they didn't get in get to have. I think the fact that they've been through those experiences makes them more compassionate. Compassionate and empathetic.

BRIANNA RIEUX: Despite everything they’re up against, some kids find a way to push forward. They learn to adapt, to survive and in some cases, to lead.

They aren't defined by where they come from. They're shaped by how they respond to it.

No, we’re not destined to fail. The odds are real and breaking the cycle is not easy, but it’s possible.

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BRIANNA RIEUX: That was part two of Time Served: The Children of Parents Behind Bars. Next, we’ll hear from the parents themselves—those who’ve been through the system and are trying to change the story of their kids. We’ll learn about what drives them to do better, and how do they work to create a different future for the next generation? Thank you for listening, I’m Brianna Rieux.

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