THIRD CULTURE KIDS

Fifty years after the term was coined for a small group of expats, their numbers have surged and their "global mindset" seems more relevant than ever.

How many Third Culture Kids are out there? (click to enlarge)

It was the mid-1980s when Ruth Van Reken, who had been trained as a nurse, become interested in an obscure but personally resonant description of American children raised overseas: Third Culture Kids. Van Reken had grown up between the U.S. and Nigeria. As an adult in her 30s, she kept a journal to reflect on how that experience shaped her life, which is when she began to delve more deeply into the idea of Third Culture Kids, or TCKs.

Around that time, she attended her very first conference on the subject, where she heard a sociologist predict that Third Culture Kids would be the prototype citizens of the future. “At first, I thought it was really arrogant,” Van Reken recalled. “But what he was really saying is that we could learn a lot from TCKs, with the world becoming globally mobile and multiculturally interactive.”

In 1999, Van Reken went on to co-author a definitive book on the subject, focused in large part on what she described as the “unresolved grief” that emerged for her as she explored the ramifications of a childhood that required moving between countries, none of which ever felt completely like home. More recently, TCKs have celebrated the tight bonds that emerge from this ever-expanding community. Now, more than 20 years after her book was first published, the focus is shifting from the internal to the external: beyond the bounds of their own experience, and the experiences of others like them, what might TCKs offer the larger world?

TCK author and expert, Ruth E. Van Reken who’s been studying TCKs since the 1980s has traveled extensively around the world to speak about issues related to globally mobile families. (Photo provided by Ruth E. Van Reken)

The “Third Culture Kid” term was coined in the 1950s by John and Ruth Unseem, American sociology and anthropology researchers who spent time living in India with their three children. At that time they used the term to describe American children who were living abroad with their parents for work-related reasons. Since then it’s evolved, first to include expat children of missionaries, military personnel and diplomats and then expanded further to include the ever-growing range of children whose parents live and work outside their home country, including multinational businesspeople, journalists, tech workers and more. What remains is an underlying sense of the term to describe an array of cultures to which the child is exposed and made to navigate from an early age, an experience Van Reken says makes them uniquely prepared to confront the challenges of an ever-more globalized world.

How many Third Culture Kids are out there? (click to enlarge)

These days, more than ever, Van Reken says, the TCK experience of dealing with cultural diversity and the effects of globalization is becoming the new normal. The most famous example by far is probably Barack Obama. How much did his success depend on his TCK upbringing? And are there larger lessons to be learned, and adopted, but other TCKs? “They lived overseas because of their parents’ career, and were put in a kind of petri dish from which different issues crop up,” she said. “We need to ask ourselves what we can from learn from their interesting circumstances.”

An international upbringing can offer many advantages, including proficiency in several languages, an expanded worldview, cultural empathy and sensitivity and openness to new experiences. Yet this lifestyle comes with its share of challenges, which can vary from everyday obstacles such as not knowing how to post a letter and read grocery labels when moving to new countries, to navigating deeper issues around identity and belonging.

Learn about the TCK qualities that transcend differences of region, faith and race among Third Culture Kids, creating a shared sensibility anchored in connection.

Source: D. Pollock, M. Pollock, & Van Reken, 2017
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HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Left image: Stuart Feltis’s mother, Carmen, takes him and his sister, Cecilia, for a walk around streets in Schweinfurt, Germany in 1983, where he was born and raised.
Right image: Feltis with his relatives in his grandmother’s house in Mexico City, where he lived for four years.
(Photos provided by Stuart Feltis)

Stuart Feltis was born in Germany in December 1980 during the Cold War. His father was a soldier in the U.S. military, and Feltis spent the first 15 years of his life moving between Germany and the United States, interspersed with visits to his maternal grandparents’ home in Mexico.

Feltis says he struggled to reconcile his own experiences with those of some of his relatives in Mexico, who wanted him to speak only in Spanish. “One of my uncles would recriminate me whenever I’d speak in English with my sister. He’d tell me to stop speaking it because I’m in Mexico,” Feltis said. “I used to tell him that it’s one of my languages and I have the right to speak it.”

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top image: Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul enjoying a Ferris wheel with her family in Malaysia, where she lived for 4 and a half years and attended an international school.
Bottom image: Klinpibul and her younger brother reading to Sudanese preschool students in Cairo, Egypt in 2009.
(Photos provided by Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul)

As a child, Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul attended international schools in Malaysia and Egypt where her father worked as an engineer for a multinational firm, before moving back to Thailand, her family’s home country. When it came to expressing her thoughts and opinions, she was torn between Eastern and Western traditions. “Bringing up points and sharing my personal opinions was normal with my foreign teachers and peers,” she said. “But in the Thai culture, it’s often seen as being disrespectful, especially toward elders.”

Amanda Girdler, the child of missionaries, attended British and international schools in Sierra Leone and an American missionary school in Liberia until age 12, when her family repatriated to the U.K.

From the moment Girdler opened her mouth, students and teachers in the U.K. were confused about where she came from. “They would say, ‘you’re not from America, why do you have an American accent?’” she said. “When I would tell them that I’m from Africa, they would say I couldn’t be from there because I’m not black.”

TCK author and counselor Lois Bushong has worked extensively with educators and administrators by providing insight and strategies to support TCK children and young adults. (Photo provided by Lois Bushong)

TCK’s such as Feltis, Klinpibul and Girdler grow up feeling conflicted about where they belong, said Lois Bushong, counselor, author of "Belonging Everywhere & Nowhere: Insights into Counseling the Globally Mobile" and a TCK who grew up in Mexico and Honduras. “They straddle between all these different national identities and cultures because they don’t really fit into any one category,” she said.

In addition to being a Third Culture Kid, Feltis is bi-racial and bi-national—his father is a white American and his mother is Mexican. His loyalty to both races and countries has been questioned on several occasions. At the age of 17, when Feltis flew from Mexico to visit his parents the U.S., he had an eye-opening encounter with an immigration customs officer.

“I pulled out both my American and Mexican passports and handed them over to the officer,” Feltis said. On seeing the passports, the officer angrily said, “No, no, no! You can’t be a citizen of two countries! What if the United States and Mexico were to go to war with each other? Which side would you be on?”

In response, Feltis simply smiled. Like many TCK’s, he had mastered the art of diplomacy. “It didn’t offend me,” he said. “It made me laugh actually. I knew this guy was old school and had a very outdated and provincial view of the world. Like many people I’ve known elsewhere.”

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Left image: Stuart Feltis’s mother, Carmen, takes him and his sister, Cecilia, for a walk around streets in Schweinfurt, Germany in 1983, where he was born and raised.
Right image: Feltis with his relatives in his grandmother’s house in Mexico City, where he lived for four years.
(Photos provided by Stuart Feltis)
HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top left: Amanda Girdler, age 5, living in Sierra Leone, West Africa where she lived for 7 years, Girdler, age 8, in a school photo in Liberia, West Africa where she lived for 4 years (bottom left),
Right image: Girdler starting school in the U.K. at the age of 12, when she experienced culture shock on repatriation.
(Photos provided by Amanda Girdler)

Klinpibul faced similar challenges whenever she tried navigating cultural differences.

She coped by becoming a cultural chameleon. “I’m a different version of myself when I’m at school and with my friends and teachers or whoever I speak English with,” she said. “But when I come home to a more conservative family setting, I felt the need to adapt to their way of thinking.”

In today’s highly mobile global population where many people are growing up among cultures, the issue of identity and belonging have become increasingly important, according to Van Reken. “No matter who's doing the study, I still hear the themes of the identity and the loss of a sense of belonging. Who am I in? Where do I fit? Where do I belong? And that has gotten worse,” she said. “We're going to have to redefine identity in a sense of cultural identity.”

When Girdler’s family repatriated to the U.K from Liberia, where she attended an American missionary school, she faced what she describes as the “hardest blow in my life to date.”

“No matter how hard I tried to explain my background to my classmates, the conversation would end with them saying ‘You’re not American, you’re not black, you’re not African, are you actually British?”

These interactions left Girdler confused, betrayed and angry. “I felt my whole sense of identity was out of grasp. All my life I felt like I was British and that was taken away from me in an instant,” she said. “In the subcultures I grew up in Africa, I was always the British girl with my British passport, but when I moved back to the U.K., I realized that I was the furthest thing from being British.”

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top left: Amanda Girdler, age 5, living in Sierra Leone, West Africa where she lived for 7 years, Girdler, age 8, in a school photo in Liberia, West Africa where she lived for 4 years (bottom left),
Right image: Girdler starting school in the U.K. at the age of 12, when she experienced culture shock on repatriation.
(Photos provided by Amanda Girdler)

Klinpibul had assimilated the culture and mannerisms she’d encountered in the international school communities in Malaysia and Egypt, and this made it difficult for her to relate to the Thai locals, who had different values and beliefs. “I look Thai, both my parents are Thai, I’ve lived half my life in Thailand, yet I’m not as Thai as people expect me to be,” she said.

TCK author and counselor Lois Bushong has worked extensively with educators and administrators by providing insight and strategies to support TCK children and young adults. (Photo provided by Lois Bushong)

“The locals just see me from the outside, and they get confused about why I take longer to understand a menu in a restaurant or follow instructions in a bank.” She quotes Nigerian poet Ijeoma Umebinyuo to describe how she feels: “So, here you are too foreign for home too foreign for here. Never enough for both.”

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top image: Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul enjoying a Ferris wheel with her family in Malaysia, where she lived for 4 and a half years and attended an international school.
Bottom image: Klinpibul and her younger brother reading to Sudanese preschool students in Cairo, Egypt in 2009.
(Photos provided by Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul)

Van Reken says that no matter how many transitions a TCK goes through while moving to different countries, the most difficult one is often a permanent or extended return their native culture or country. Commonly called “reentry,” the process of cultural acclimation causes stress and confusion in the TCK.

When Feltis moved to the United States or Mexico, his passport countries, he found it difficult to fit in. After moving from Germany to Washington state, where he enrolled in an Evangelical Christian high school, he quickly realized he would not fit into the ultra-conservative fundamentalist bubble at his new school —a place where there was no tolerance for anyone who did not have a “normal” American upbringing.

“It was a huge culture shock for me⁠—meeting these kids who had never been anywhere outside the country,” he said. “I was accustomed to living in an active international community in Germany. My mother’s best friend was from Iran and we had friends from Turkey and several Arab nations.”

When Feltis shared his international travel stories with his classmates, he received strange looks. Even as an 11-year-old, those reactions told him that he did not fit into all-American boy mold. Some of his classmates bullied him. “They thought that I was a freak⁠—an alien of some sort,” he said. “Initially, they were nice to me, but after a few weeks, they grew hostile.”

When he relocated to Mexico at the age of 15, he found it a better fit than Washington state, but it didn’t come without its own share of challenges. His language skills and firsthand experience of life outside of Mexico set him apart. “I continued to experience ‘an element of ‘otherness’ because I spoke better English than other people,” Feltis said, “and I knew more because of my international background.”

When a teacher asked questions about European history in class, Feltis would often be the only one to answer. “I instantly answered questions about the Treaty of Versailles, World War I and II,” he recalled. “I became the teacher’s pet and my classmates resented this.”

Michael V. Pollock is the executive director of Interaction International, an organization that provides training, programs and advocacy for TCKs. He founded two TCK organizations, Odyssey and Daraja, and speaks and teaches globally on TCK issues. (Photo courtesy of Abigail Pollock)

Overcoming common growing pains such as those Feltis encountered can instill maturity and a strong sense of self-esteem, said Michael V. Pollock, who co-authored with Reken “Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds.” “The gifts and benefits of being exposed to different languages and cultures is amazing in and of itself, but TCKs also build resilience and adaptability through these circumstances. They develop this innate belief that, ‘I can over overcome anything because of what I’ve been through’.”

Michael V. Pollock is the executive director of Interaction International, an organization that provides training, programs and advocacy for TCKs. He founded two TCK organizations, Odyssey and Daraja, and speaks and teaches globally on TCK issues. (Photo courtesy of Abigail Pollock)

For Girdler, that sense of overcoming manifested itself as she slowly adapted to the new environment in the U.K by phasing out her American accent and adopting a British one. She became a high achiever in school and an “all-rounder” who excelled in sports and music. She studied German language and history in college and worked in Germany for a year.

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top image: Amanda Girdler with Daniel Girdler, her then-boyfriend now husband, in Germany where she worked and studied for a year while attending university.
Bottom image: Girdler with her husband Daniel and her 16-year-old daughter Eliana and 14-year-old son, Noah, in California, where she currently resides.
(Photos provided by Amanda Girdler)

She also developed a high level of curiosity about the world, a natural byproduct of a TCK upbringing, according to Pollock. “Because of all this exposure they’ve had, TCKs constantly ask themselves, ‘what else is out there?’” he said. “There is a truism in that the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know. And that certainly applies to TCKs.”

After graduating, Girdler joined the British Airways long-haul cabin crew, pursuing her passion for adventure by traveling to 45 countries. “I got to see all these amazing places while paying off my student loans,” she said. “Being a TCK has been a gift for me: it opened me to other cultures, took me to almost 50 countries around the world, and it’s made me most accepting of the differences in other people.”

Bushong says that the tension brewing from the globalism-versus-nationalism debates happening worldwide require the cultural sensitivity and empathy of global citizens such as TCKs. “TCKs are cultural bridges because when they watch somebody do something or say something, they tend to hear them through the lens of the other person's culture,” she said.

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top image: Amanda Girdler with Daniel Girdler, her then-boyfriend now husband, in Germany where she worked and studied for a year while attending university.
Bottom image: Girdler with her husband Daniel and her 16-year-old daughter Eliana and 14-year-old son, Noah, in California, where she currently resides.
(Photos provided by Amanda Girdler)

When Girdler traveled and lived in developing countries in Africa, where people experience immense poverty, she was moved by their generosity. “Those moments when they had nothing, they took great care of me—they invited me back for tea sitting on the floor and would offer meals,” she said. “Regardless of your own culture, race or religion, empathy is at the core about being human.”

While living in the U.K. Girdler taught English at a community college to mostly Arabic-speaking refugees from the Middle East and Africa. “They knew they would be ostracized if they didn’t learn the language. They felt isolated and were very worried about surviving in the U.K. culture,” she said. “As the teacher, I assured them we’re going to do this together. I said ‘We’re going to give you the skills and language, and we’re going to give you respect, because that’s what a true community is.’ ”

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top image: Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul volunteering with a fellow student at a fundraiser supporting the Leukemia & Blood Cancer organization in New Zealand.
Bottom image: Klinpibul in an official photo taken in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with other delegates in the UN Youth New Zealand Globalization Tour, where she met political, business and academic leaders across East and Southeast Asia.
(Photos provided by Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul)

Klinpibul, a devout Buddhist, said she is accepting of other faiths. During her visits to Buddhist temples with her family, she encountered a few elders who were less tolerant. “I heard them talk badly about other religions,” she said. “This affected me so much. It made me uncomfortable knowing there are people who feel that way.”

“Yet, there are Buddhists who help those different from them, and I’m proud to be one of such,” she said. “I volunteered to help Muslim refugees later in my life, because I could understand the struggle that these women and children faced in immigrating to a new country.”

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top image: Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul volunteering with a fellow student at a fundraiser supporting the Leukemia & Blood Cancer organization in New Zealand.
Bottom image: Klinpibul in an official photo taken in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with other delegates in the UN Youth New Zealand Globalization Tour, where she met political, business and academic leaders across East and Southeast Asia.
(Photos provided by Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul)
HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top left: Stuart Feltis with his maternal grandmother, María de Jesús, a grounding figure in his life, at her house in Mexico City, Feltis in Kraków, Poland, where he studied and worked for 7 years (bottom left).
Right image: Feltis inside the National Museum in Kraków where he studied European Studies and worked as an editor and writer. Feltis sits in front of the Jan Matejko painting titled "The Battle of Racławice."
(Photos provided by Stuart Feltis)

Bushong says that the TCKs are ideal candidates for inspiring others to tackle common human issues such as climate change, poverty and inequality. “Our world is shrinking—to be able to handle this effectively we can reach out to this untapped chunk of society that knows how to navigate these changes so that we don’t make any mistakes,” she said. “As TCKs, I think we can make change happen through our employment, whether it be through our companies or whether it be through the United Nations, the World Bank or a diplomatic community.”

Earlier this year, Klinpibul embarked on the UN Youth Globalization Tour, where she met political, business and academic leaders across East and Southeast Asia. The tour provides the delegates insight into globalization through culture, politics and economics in the region. “In my eyes, I see it as an opportunity for personal growth, not just going to these different places and being wowed by everything,” she said. “I realized the importance of human connection. I want to make strong connections no matter where I go, whether it’s at a meeting or on a bus.”

After graduating with a B.A. in International Studies in Washington D.C., Feltis lived and worked in Mexico City for a couple of years before moving to Kraków, Poland, where he pursued a graduate degree in European studies. He worked in Poland for a couple of years as a writer and editor, then moved to Madrid, Spain.

HOVER OVER PHOTO TO ENLARGE Top left: Stuart Feltis with his maternal grandmother, María de Jesús, a grounding figure in his life, at her house in Mexico City, Feltis in Kraków, Poland, where he studied and worked for 7 years (bottom left).
Right image: Feltis inside the National Museum in Kraków where he studied European Studies and worked as an editor and writer. Feltis sits in front of the Jan Matejko painting titled "The Battle of Racławice."
(Photos provided by Stuart Feltis)

“I don’t plan on staying in Madrid indefinitely,” Feltis said. “I feel that Socrates quote applies to me—"I am neither Athenian nor Greek but a citizen of the world. I have a cosmopolitan vision of the world- an image of a world with no borders,” Feltis said. “Intellectually, I know there must be borders and national identity but at this stage of human history, we must focus on progress together.”

Through his writings, Feltis tries to increase awareness around diversity, ethnic minorities, ideological extremism and corruption. “Tolerance and openness cannot be bought easily,” Feltis said. “As TCKs, we feel connected to the cultures, history, art and literature of countries around the world. And that is one of our big strengths.”

Van Reken says that TCK stories are filled with multifaceted experiences and rich diversity. “The specifics of each TCK story are different,” she said. “But there are common themes that emerge in their experiences —both good and not-so-good.”

Amanda Girdler, Stuart Feltis and Chartsiri “Patty” Klinpibul reflect on what home means to them and why they value the TCK upbringing that made them "global citizens."
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